Under again.

By Hypatia Artemisia

I’m going under again

Under and under

The water is cold and slimy

Slamming against my chest

My head goes under then bobs up again

I'm gasping gasping gasping

I'm choking

I try to scream but you’re too far away

On the golden shore, sipping your martinis

(Or whatever the fuck)

wondering where I’ve gone

My voice is hoarse from screaming

I stop thrashing my leaden limbs

I give up my body to the lulling riptides

Wrap myself in the sea’s wet embrace

Maybe tomorrow I’ll be a dead man

Washed up on the golden shore

My body green and purple

Bloated like a pufferfish

Then you’ll scream and scream

Until your voice is hoarse from screaming

But whatever the fuck happens

I’m too tired to imagine it now

I lie flat on my back

A starfish

The stars are coming out over the ocean

Pinpricks of light in the vast dark night draped

Over our precious blue marbly planet

I look up at the stars and sigh, and let the water

Fill my lungs — tomorrow will be another day